What does it mean to be mindful and in the present moment?
We've all heard how beneficial mindfulness can be. In the last 20 to 25 years there is a growing acceptance in both the scientific and therapeutic communities of the benefits of mindful attention and present moment anchoring.
Many studies show improvements in mood, relaxation, enhanced positivity, greater resilience, improved sleep, improved concentration and alertness, and improved overall health and wellbeing 1
But what does it mean to be mindful and in the present moment?
Modern therapy has moved beyond exploring the deep subconscious and looking more on the surface of our minds. In fact, it is best to think of the mind as having two different processes. One process is intelligent thought. This is where we apply our reasoning, our intelligence, our prior history and learning and the values we hold and apply that to solve either a problem, make a decision or to analyse and make sense of a situation.
There is however another type of mental processing and this processing is happening constantly, often outside of your conscious awareness. It is not necessarily based on your wisdom, reasoning or even your values. This type of mental activity we may call ‘mind chatter’ or ‘internal commentary’ and it is going on constantly as you go about your day. Its content can be tangential, random ideas and thinking or as a commentary of what you are experiencing as you go about your day. The mind chatter is not often a reflection of how you truly see things or the way you would like to see things based on your values. Many people, in fact, get quite upset and caught up in this mental chatter because it actually is the opposite of the way they would like to view the world. This mind chatter goes about your day with you wherever you are. It is constantly talking to you about your experiences.
This constant stream of thoughts and thinking is widely accepted as one of, if not the major cause of mental stress, anxiety, worry and unhappiness. The way we talk to ourselves defines how we experience the world. Our thoughts are often responsible for whether we experience moments as pleasant or unpleasant. It can talk us into hope or lead us towards anguish.
The tragedy is that we are often so caught up in this constant stream of thoughts that we are not aware of it happening. Therapy’s effectiveness is largely due to leading us to become aware of this trance we are in - blindly being led by our constant running commentary. Waking up from this trance is also exactly what mindfulness and meditation is all about.
One of the most beneficial things about being able to recognise that we're caught up in the trance of the Mind Chatter is being able to see how much it affects us and to perhaps choose to ignore it.
We became aware of all the thoughts and thinking that leads to worry, stress and anxiety – the “ Oh my God!” & The “oh no”s the “I can’t do this “ . When we pay attention to this mind chatter, we may find that it is often critical, disparaging and bullying.
It's like a machine gun of anxiety, worry or bullying. Thought after thought after thought. But thoughts don’t live in a vacuum – our emotion regulation system has evolved to produce all kinds of emotions and physiological sensations in response to certain thoughts. When the part of our brain that regulates our emotions identifies thoughts of anxiety and threat – it responds by activating the threat system which includes feelings of fear, anger, avoidance and stress. It responds to thoughts of insecurities as if they were true and accurate and likewise activates emotions and behaviours as a means of survival and defence. When our internal dialogue is critical, angry and hostile towards our imperfections and struggles, our pain and weaknesses, we respond with the same experience of pain as if these statements were being made by a friend or relative.
The emotion regulation system is wired to respond quite quickly, almost automatically, without hesitating to analyse whether a specific thought was just mental mind chatter or the result of years of careful examination and study.
When we tell ourselves “I can’t do this” or “I can’t cope with this anymore” the brain is wired to respond literally. It doesn’t understand that you are just merely using a turn of phrase.
What we're essentially telling ourselves is that death is imminent. “I can't cope. I can't keep doing this. I don't want to do this. I won't be able to do this”. Pretty much we're saying we're going to cease to exist, in the next five seconds. So of course, it is only natural that we will respond with a whole lot of adrenaline.
Mindfulness is being awakened from the trance of mind chatter. In this trance we are constantly living out a reality painted by mind chatter that may be over reactive, based on prior learning that is no longer relevant or inconsistent with the present moment.
Becoming anchored in the present moment is learning to open up to the unique experience of NOW.
With mindfulness training we learn to recognise the mind chatter – we see that it is often overreactive, dramatic, pessimistic, harsh, unfair – and, with that acknowledgment and insight, we have a better opportunity of allowing the NOW to reveal itself to us and be experienced free from such bias.
This is where we are able to finally graduate from pervasive patterns and histories of worry, insecurity, criticism, judgement or any other pattern of mind chatter that has become how we see ourselves and the world.
It may mean that we address mind chatter that states “I can’t take this anymore” with more relevant and realistic thinking such as “ I can’t believe how well I am still coping right now – I am proud of myself”. Instead of just hearing “There’s no way I can do that” we may open up to allowing the present moment to teach us something new about our capabilities and add to that thought “I am willing to see how I go – this is important to me”.
When we are able to tune into the way our mind is talking to us we quickly understand where the root cause of a lot of our psychological pain comes from and our problematic behaviours. If we are telling ourselves something is too hard we are going to try and avoid it and procrastinate, when we tell ourselves we will never achieve we stop short of challenging ourselves and raising the stakes. We trade a life of fulfilment and personal expression for comfort and safeness.
We don’t have to be taken hostage by the way our minds talk to us – it is not the Mind’s fault either. It is an echo of experience and socio-cultural programming that it or you did not choose. We can learn to play the game though. We do not have to rely on the automatic mind chatter we carry around with us – we can examine, question, implement new self-talk. These thoughts will have the power to eventually shape your experience, influence your choices and make the difference between joy and sadness.
References
1. (Alda et al., 2016; Davis & Hayes, 2011; Howell, Digdon, Buro, & Sheptycki, 2008).